einsof

Sundays

2006-01-07T15:26:00.000-05:00

Sundays - how I miss them. Actually, I miss my Saturday nights even more. Now on Motzei Shabbat I have to do laundry, clean up from Shabbat, make sure there's food for lunches tomorrow, and get the kids to sleep on time. Because tomorrow is a regular day! I may never get used to a six day work/school week.

When am I supposed to do fun stuff with the kids? Or forget the fun stuff - when do I take them to buy clothing and shoes?

I know from talking to other olim that this is one thing one never gets used to. I guess I just have to join the club. But I don't like it.

OOPS I did it again

2006-01-04T01:04:00.000-05:00

Looks like I waited quite a while to post again. It's hard to find the time between going to ulpan, taking care of the house, helping the kids with homework, etc.

I mostly like ulpan although sometimes it gets boring. Last month the teacher spent THREE days on one article. We would read each sentence at least three times. I'm not exaggerating. Most of the time I enjoy it and feel like I'm learning. But when I have the opportunity to speak Hebrew outside Ulpan (which is not often) I find it very hard to express myself. Sometimes I can't even begin.

Kids are sometimes doing OK. I feel that if I were to tell them we are going back to America tomorrow, at least two of them would run to pack! I know we've only been here five months but it hurts me when they say they don't want to go to school. They used to love going to school - weird, but true.

That's it for now. I'll try to keep up more often.

Where have the last four months gone?

2005-11-09T14:33:00.000-05:00

Wow! I can't believe I've already been here three months. There have been lots of ups and downs. I will try to write more regularly now that we are more "settled." I'm not even sure where to begin! I will try to collect my thoughts and write later.

I.can.not.pack.one.more.box

2005-06-25T23:20:00.000-04:00

But I have to. And I will. Just not now.

The kids have decided that they are tired of people's questions. When are you leaving? Where are you moving to? My oldest says people don't really care where we're moving to. I told her next time, tell them either:

(1) We haven't found a place to live, so we're going to camp out at the Kotel.

(2) We really can't afford anything else, so we'll be living in an Arab town.

At least these suggestions elicited some giggles. It's better than tears.

Been Too Long

2005-06-11T23:14:00.000-04:00

Well, it's been a while since I've written. So let me update. We are packing, shopping, packing, and shopping. That's about it. I keep buying things I think I can't live without. Then I wonder where I will put it all when I get there. No garage to store stuff, like I have here. But I can't go without my beloved tunafish, peanut butter, and ziploc bags. At least to start.

The shipper will be here in about two weeks. I am not sure how we will get it all done. But I know we will.

I am feeling sad about leaving. Just starting to feel really comfortable here. Not sure about starting over.

HOW CRAZY Am I?

2005-04-14T19:26:00.000-04:00

Today my cleaning lady asked me where we're moving. When I told her, she said "where's that?" That kind of threw me. I never really had to explain where Israel is. For lack of a better idea, I said the "Middle East". That drew a blank stare. Perhaps it was the language barrier (she speaks Portugese) but she didn't seem to understand.
Then I said... you know: near Lebanon, Saudi Arabia, Egypt.... There was still no recognition. But I started wondering... WHERE AM I moving to exactly? And HOW CRAZY am I?

Why I don't give out too much information

2005-03-21T13:51:00.000-05:00

Today I declined a chance to save money. The salesman tells me that I can buy a page of coupons for $80 that can actually save me money in the long run. Normally, I would ponder such a decision, knowing that it would be beneficial, but that I would probably forget that I had the coupons when I went back to the shop again.
This time, my decision was made for me. I tell the gentleman that I am moving (i.e. I won't be coming back). Next question: "Oh, where are you moving to?" He's probably thinking that he'll tell me that they have stores all over the U.S. So I say, "I'm moving overseas". I think I have escaped the next question when he says, "Oh." But just five minutes later, he asks where am I moving to. So I am stuck. I say "Israel". Skip a beat. Hesitation. Then he says "Are you or your husband in the military or something?"
I just smile and say no.

From the Mouth of Babes

2005-03-03T20:35:00.000-05:00

My youngest's (age 6) comments on moving to Israel:
(1) The only thing I am excited about is "the stairs" (in the house).
(2) I don't want to move to Israel because there's too much Hebrew.
(3) Is there going to be a shul? (Yes)
(4) Is everything going to be in Hebrew (in shul)?

Thoughts on Shippers

2005-03-03T11:56:00.000-05:00

Within the last couple of days, I have met with both Strand and Omega (Kef?) shippers. The guy from Strand gave us a quote of about $10,000 (40 foot container) but left with all the paperwork. Also, everything was written in longhand on a legal pad. I was a bit surprised that he didn't have an official form or a computer. When I asked him about complaints about things that happened with his company in Israel, he gave me a (friendly) speech about the nature of Israelis. "If you don't tell them to take the boxes to a certain room, they may not do it." Thanks for the info!
The guy from Omega didn't give me a price quote yet - he said he had to send it to the guy in Israel. But his volume estimate was very similar to Strand's. And at least I asked him if I could make a copy of his papers before he left. He had a standardized form. Meanwhile, I have been reading very negative comments about Omega on the Nefesh B'Nefesh list. Most of the complaints are about things that happened on the Israel side.
Both shippers told me that the summer is the busiest time and I should let them know soon when we will be ready to ship. That's hard to do when Nefesh still doesn't have their dates available!
I think I will still be meeting with one or two shippers. No appointments yet.
On the plus side, I will be mailing our Nefesh B'Nefesh application today.

Something to think about

2005-02-28T21:01:00.000-05:00

After reading Sarah Smile's most recent post, it really got me thinking. Whenever I think about packing this summer, I think about all the "American" things I want to stock up on. All of the things I think I can't get in Israel. One reason I want to do this is so that things will be a bit easier when we first get there. For example, if I need allergy medicine, I don't want to navigate the drug stores right away when my Hebrew is so rusty. It's easier to take a few boxes of what I am using now and I know works for me. And then there are all the food items that I have heard cannot be found or are three times more expensive. I just want to make aliyah (there, I said it!) with all of Walmart's convenient and inexpensive merchandise. But, like Sarah says, do I want to make it seem like America is better - especially to the children? Or do I want them to totally acclimate to Israeli culture? It's a tough question.

Things I learned over the weekend

2005-02-14T13:01:00.000-05:00

We went to some interesting seminars over the weekend sponsored by Nefesh B'Nefesh. Some things I learned:

Ulpan is for 5 days, 5 hours a week, for 5 months. I'm not sure what I thought it would be, but that sounds pretty intensive. For someone who has been home for 9 years with no set routine, that's an awful lot of time to sit in one place. But I am looking forward to having a set routine.
Be aware that government officers are overworked and underpaid. Although this seems pretty obvious, I think that remembering this often will help me through the bureaucratic process.

That's all for now.

Panic Sets In

2005-02-09T15:45:00.000-05:00

I showed our house to a prospective buyer today. As I was showing her around the house, and pointing out all the wonderful things, I began wondering to myself: Why exactly am I leaving all this? I know, I know, we're moving back to our roots. The kids will have a better life. Blah, blah, blah. I'm just thinking that I'm going to miss my huge sink, garbage disposal, and spacious pantry.

Tik Aliyah

2005-02-09T15:30:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, we opened our "tik aliyah". For those who don't know, this is an aliyah file. It basically means you gather together all of your important documents from your entire life (birth certificates, marriage certificate, passports etc.) and bring them to your shaliach. He then interviews you and passes on the information (to whom, I'm not sure). This is something you MUST do in order to make aliyah. You also must have a file number in order to apply to Nefesh B'Nefesh.
The highlight of this whole process for me was going out to eat in a nice restaurant, without the kids, afterwards. I guess that makes me a pretty shallow person, but the meeting WAS anti-climactic. After all that information-gathering, I could at leave have gotten a sticker or something saying "I'm making Aliyah!" Kids get stickers for doing much less.

I spoke too soon

2005-02-04T17:10:00.000-05:00

I think in my last post I mentioned that everyone I have told has been very supportive. Well, I clearly spoke too soon. Yesterday I told someone who asked how the kids feel about it. I told them that our oldest isn't too happy. So she said "yeah, that's a really bad age. GOOD LUCK!" I guess that's not such a terrible statement, now that I am actually writing about it, I realize that it could have been much worse. It's just that this person is someone I actually admire and I expected more from her. The more I think about it, I think she is envious of us. I don't think she really wants to live in this community but for some reason she continues to stay.

Another "friend" who is involved in our kids' school said, "So, you are bailing?". She is clearly clueless. Almost everyone else has not been surprised at all. We are so NOT bailing. It is much harder for us to move than to stay here. And I'm sure that we will still support the school financially if we are still able to.

UPDATE: The same "bailing" person today called me and said "I can't believe your husband will be commuting. What kind of family life could you possibly have?" I told her that the weeks that he will be with us in Israel will include a VERY GOOD family life, better than the one we have here when he is hardly ever home.

For each negative comment I receive, though, it seems that there is a positive one. Soon after I heard the above comment, someone from the shul said, "Are you leaving us? All the good ones leave."

I just need to focus on the positive comments.

Clearing Out

2005-02-02T22:49:00.000-05:00

Spent hours this week clearing out closets. The girls' room and my side of the closet. Lots of stuff to give away and lots of garbage. It's a good feeling to clear out but I can't help but wonder... will I still have room for what's left?

Also, update on telling people: I've told quite a few people over the last week. Mostly everybody has been extremely supportive. I'm glad about that.

OK, Maybe I CAN speak Hebrew

2005-01-17T23:02:00.000-05:00

I've been having doubts about my ability to speak the Hebrew language. Whenever I would have the opportunity to speak with an Israeli, I would get shy or embarrassed. Today I went to a neighbor's house whose Israeli mother-in-law was visiting. She hardly speaks any English so I didn't have a choice but to converse with her in her native language. Imagine my surprise when she asked how I can speak Hebrew and that my Hebrew was "nehedar"! (One of these days I'll figure out how to insert Hebrew fonts into this thing). That made my day.

Freaking Out

2005-01-14T17:59:00.000-05:00

I'm in the local kosher grocery store and I see the Rebbetzin. We always say hello to one another when we see each other, but that's about it. Although we are about the same age, our children go to different schools, and I don't have much to say when I see her. But today, she is ultra-friendly and says (in a voice louder than I am comfortable with) "How are your aliyah plans coming along?" Now I haven't even told some of my close friends of our plans yet so I answer her (as quietly as I can). I say "OK. There's a lot to do." She is still speaking quite loudly when she says "Oh, yeah. This is about the time when you're looking at washers and dryers".

Now this statement totally freaks me out. Because not only am I not looking at washers and dryers, I am not really ready to look at washers and dryers. I am still at the stage where I'm not really sure if I can do this.

I tell the Rebbetzin that we haven't actually told everyone yet. I feel bad when she says "OH! I'm sorry!". I'm assuming her husband told her when we asked him for a letter declaring that we are Jewish, one of the many paperwork items we need for the Jewish Agency. Also, as I say that we haven't really told everyone yet, the person behind her - who missed the beginning or our interchange - turns around and stares at my stomach. I am positive that she thinks I am pregnant, which I am not.

What are the points of this story?

(1) I realize that I am still uncomfortable saying that I am making aliyah. I can say I am moving to Israel but I can't reach the level of saying the A word. I'm not sure why.
(2) I need to start telling people that we are moving. If the Rebbetzin knows, I'm sure a lot of people know.
(3) I need to get more excited about this move - for my family's sake and for my sake. Everyone keeps saying "how exciting!" but all I can think about is "how terrifying!"
(4) If I could just lose the "baby fat" - OK, so it's been six years since my last baby - I wouldn't worry about people thinking I'm pregnant.

Beginnings

2005-01-13T22:57:00.000-05:00

I am actually going to join the world of blogs.